Edification

We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached You fell on Me." For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us, to the glory of God. Romans 15:1-7 (NKJV)

Years ago author Tony Campolo admitted to lying. (For your edification, experts tell us that all of human kind has a shadow of dishonesty that causes us to lie, exaggerate and stretch the truth) Campolo went on to say that he was most tempted to lie when he was trying to make himself look better in the eyes of other people. He did not tell big lies, but stretched the truth--making stories into greater personal victories--making himself a little greater, a bit taller, a bit smarter, a bit more righteous, a bit more athletic, a bit more in demand... What was the goal of such dishonesty? To be validated by the positive opinions of others.

With a few rare exceptions, most people feel the need to be validated, because they feel insecure in themselves and are concerned about how other people might view them. So, people go to great lengths to be acceptable and important in the eyes of others--with the hope of being "somebody." Much of this drive to be special would be solved if we proactively validated others by speaking words of edification. A kind word, a recognition, a thank you, an acknowledgment of things well-done, a pat on the back, an encouraging word, a card, a gift, a public show of affection...you have the power to validate people through your actions and words! "But, Ron--won't that lead them to pride?"

Actually, it will lead them to feel secure in their relationship with you, taking away their need to seek validation--which is often mistaken for pride. Words of edification are not words of flattery. Flattery is dangerous, because the speaker of flattery is looking for a relational advantage. Edification is healthy, because the speaker of edification is looking to encourage the heart of the receiver with the truth spoken in love. Here's the bottom-line: By speaking words of edification you have the power to change the lives of the people that you love the most. Your kind and uplifting words can enable people to live with more courage knowing that they are loved and that another person believes in them. This is a key to walking in Paul admonition: "Therefore receive one another, just as Christ also received us."

Prayer: "Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for exalting myself at the expense of others. And help me to be more concerned with edifying others rather than striving for the accolades that feed my vanity. May the knowledge that You love me be enough to feel my need to be validated. As I walk each day, please use me to speak words that warm and lift the hearts of those around me. Make me more like You! Amen"